


the sky’s more blue in malibu

by coldville



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Closure, F/M, Gen, Ghosts, Hallucinations, Lance (Voltron)-centric, NO ACTUAL DEATH. the tag is for allura, Negative wording towards hallucinations, lance’s birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldville/pseuds/coldville
Summary: this is not my best work, ill leave it at that.
Relationships: Allura/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Lance's Family (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	the sky’s more blue in malibu

**Author's Note:**

> allura’s dead and i put no effort into my writing whatsoever

Lance had never experienced life in such a heartbreaking, excruciating way. 

From the moment he was born, he was shown joy. With a such a large family there was always a reason to celebrate, almost always a reason to be happy. When Luis won a soccer game, when Marco and papi caught fish for dinner, when Veronica got top of her class, when Rachel came home with a boyfriend, _when Lance got into the Galaxy Garrison._ There was always a reason to be happy for one another, even as the years went by and they all got older. Of course, the sad moments came with the good, but overall, Lance had been a happy child.

In fact, he was still happy. Even up in space, fighting what felt like an impossible war, he tried his best to be happy. There was never a moment where Lance intended to dwell on his insecurities or shortcomings. He tried to be happy, and most of the time he managed to push past all of it. Near the end it had become harder than it should have been, with Keith leaving, and with the clone, and his best friends moving on to more important things. It was hard and emotionally draining, but most importantly it was over. There would be no more lectures from something that  _looked like their leader, talked like their leader, but just wasn’t_.  There was just happiness, and even now he was still trying to convince himself.

It had been a dream, almost, when Allura agreed to a date with him. It felt like he had been pining for his whole life, but suddenly he wasn’t. She was there and real and he could reach out and touch her.

_ Sometimes it still felt like he could. _

Still, reality was cold and unforgiving, and the universe must have had something against Lance. It still did, he realized one night at home.

_ It had been nearly four years. He was twenty-one now with the world ahead of him. Instead of being out in the world, here he was, in the backyard with his family. Some people wouldn’t like that, but Lance did. Family meant everything to him.  _

_ Everyone was there, it was the twins’ birthday. They were getting so old, Lance thought to himself. He was leaning against the tree, watching them chase around Luis with a smirk.  _

_ “Come on Nadia, catch him!” Lance cheered, remembering how when they were kids Luis would bet him money that he couldn’t catch him. Lance almost always did, and Luis almost always never actually gave him money.  _

_ “Papi!” Sylvio pouted, circling around and blocking off the way Luis was planning on going. He was a smart kid. _

_ “Do you really think Luis will give them the money?” Came a voice from Lance’s side.  _

_ Lance visibly froze, his heartbeat picking up. He turned to the voice and nearly dropped his beer. “Allura?” His voice was quiet, broken. _

_ She just stared as the twins continued chasing their father, hands brought up to her chest and clasped together. She looked happy and still so beautiful. “I just love your silly earth traditions.” _

_ Lance’s breath came in small ragged gasps, and he found himself repeating her name. No less broken. “‘lura ?”  _

_ Laughter and clapping came from the rest of the backyard and Lance flinched. When Lance’s eyes refocused, there was no Allura in sight. She had been gone for two years, of course there wasn’t, Lance cursed himself. _

_ She was dead. _

_ Lance downed the rest of his beer bottle and walked towards the back door, passing Luis who was laying on the ground with the twins on top of him. He passed the very pregnant Lisa and his own father, and when he stepped inside, his mom caught his eye quickly. She was messing with the cake she had made, always the perfectionist. _

_ Lance took a glance at the stairs and then at the kitchen. He could retire to his room or help his mom finish getting the food and dessert ready. “Do you need help?” _

_ “Sure, mijo. Come put the empanadas on the table.”  _

_ He dropped his beer bottle into the trash and couldn’t help his small grin, no matter how shaken up he was. “You made empanadas?” _

_ “Of course, you know how much the twins love them.” _

_ “Mamá, /you/ know how much /I/ love them.” Lance pouted, grabbing a tray and putting the first on the kitchen table. They would be eating outside today, so the food stayed inside in a buffet type fashion.  _

_ “It’s not your birthday, is it, Lance?” His mom laughed, and Lance couldn’t help his even bigger smile. _

_ “I guess not.” He grinned, grabbing another tray. _

Lance stood up from his bed, grunting at the effort. His back had been hurting from all the work he had accomplished lately. It was almost sunrise, and he wasn’t going to deny his girls food another moment. 

_ He remembered laying in bed with Allura, holding her to his chest. It was their favorite position, one that comforted the both of them. _

_ “I would love to see your home one day, Lance.” Allura began, shifting in Lance’s grip. _

Lance stepped down the steps two at a time, getting out a bottle for a kid they had taken in. He added the nutrients and the powder necessary, and then ran the bottle underneath the sink. He shook it up in his hand and stepped out the front door.

_ Lance loosened his arms around her waist and let go, and she took the opportunity to scoot back and face him. “Really?” He asked excitedly. “I mean, what do you want to see?”  _

He stepped into the barn and grinned as Kaltenecker greeted him with a ‘moo.’ Katherine, their new cow, did as well. Lance opened the gate to the pasture and let them both out. They stayed inside at night for safety, and so did the kid they had been taking care of. 

_“All of it. Where you grew up, where you played, your favorite spots.” Allura looked eager to get to know him. “You showed me your house and the pathway with the tree on our date, but I want to see more.”_

Lance finished feeding the baby goat and let her out to a separate area from the cows. Next, he topped off the feed for the hens with extra vegetable peel and fruit from last night.

_ “I think I know a place.” Lance grinned, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.  _

Around lunchtime, Lance came in. He needed a shower, but he needed lunch more. It had been a month since the last birthday, but he still managed to catch his mom with a cake in the kitchen.

Honest to God, he froze. “Mamii-“ Lance whined, almost like a child. “I told you I don’t want a big celebration.” 

She tutted, like Lance had learned from her, and put a hand on her hip. “Who said this was for you?”

Lance spluttered, “It’s MY birthday! Who else would it be for?!” He looked exasperated.

“Your sister. She loves cake.” 

“But!” Lance squawked, and he was met with an icing spatula pointing to the door.

“It’s for your sister, now out.” 

Lance pouted, lowering his head. “I just wanted lunch.” 

“I’ll bring you out a couple of empanadas.” She replied, to which Lance’s eyes widened. He was going to retort that she only made those occasionally and for special occasions, but his mom noticed the look on his face immediately. “Also for your sister. Out!”

Lance groaned under his breath and left the kitchen, maybe everything really was for his sister. He sat down on a rocking chair on the front wrap around porch and pouted as he waited.

_ A few weeks ago, Lance had been very adamant about his decision for no birthday party. “Mama, seriously, no party.” _

_ “Why, sweetheart? You always love parties.” _

_“It will just feel wrong without everyone there. I don’t-“ Lance’s eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t let them spill. “I know we have those yearly meetings but she’s not there and it’s just so weird. I don’t want to be reminded on my birthday.”_

Lance rocked on the chair quietly, leaning his head back as he waited impatiently. He would have been content to make his own food, but his mom had kicked him out of the kitchen after nearly a minute. 

But finally, she brought out a hot plate of food, and Lance found himself looking up at her skeptically. This couldn’t have been just for his sister. 

“Eat up.” His mom encouraged, and Lance found himself unable to ask if this was for his birthday or not. Even though a part of him knew.

_ The twins’ party had been the first place he had seen /her/ at, but it hadn’t stopped there. _

_ At his papi’s birthday, she had been right next to him at the table. She was /right/ there, but was gone the next second.  _

_ “ Is it good?” Allura asked, and Lance found himself jumping in his seat. _

_ “What?” He asked loudly, and a few people turned to him. Lance waved them off and lowered his voice. “What ?” _

_ “The cake. Is it good?”  _

_ Lance tightened his grip on his fork. “Yeah, it’s good.” He made an unreadable expression. She smiled.  _

_ “I want you to enjoy yourself.”  _

_ Lance looked down at his plate and sighed. “How am I supposed to do that when my dead girlfriend keeps showing up when I’m surrounded by my /whole/ family?”  _

_ When he looked up, his sister-in-law was moving to sit down where Allura had been sitting. “You look pale, are you alright?”  _

_ “I’m fine.” Lance mumbled, searching the room with his eyes. She was nowhere in sight.  _

Overtime, Lance had become less shocked. She visited on birthdays, when Lance was surrounded by family and couldn’t give into his delusions completely. It became more of an annoyance, he wanted to see her, he wanted to be able to talk to her completely, without his family near. 

And God, when people told him that she would always be with him, he didn’t think they meant like  _ this. _

He left his empty plate of food outside, knowing that his mom would get onto him for coming inside now. Lance didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t have anything else to complete at the moment, so he found himself wandering towards the field that he had been avoiding ever since the twins’ party. This field in particular was filled with Juniberry flowers, after Colleen had perfected it. 

It was an actual long walk, considering it was at the opposite edge of their property.

_ “This place you want to show me, what is it like?” Allura asked, slowly sliding back into Lance’s arms.  _

_ “Well, it’s kind of just a shitty field. I used to play in it at the edge of our property, and around halloween my family would put decorations up in it. A spooky homemade horror set, kinda. My dad would keep a scarecrow up all year round, even though there weren’t any crops in it.” Lance laughed. There wasn’t much to say, really. He just liked it. _

_ “So you’re going to take me to sit in an empty field one day?” Allura asked, bewildered. She laughed at the thought, and Lance joined in. _

_“Yup, a totally empty field all to ourselves.” He failed to contain his laughter as he spoke._

Lance stepped into the field, eyes scanning the Juniberry flowers. They were still so vibrant, and the seeds were starting to take over to the dirt road behind the field. It led to the neighbor’s house that was fairly far away. It was only mid afternoon, but he still felt tired. He _was_ tired. 

He was flopping down at the edge of the field when someone appeared next to him. Lance could feel her, even though he wasn’t looking at her.

“It’s beautiful.” Allura smiled, stepping into Lance’s field of vision.

He was sure he was going to crumble any minute now, but he tried to keep neutral as he stared out at the field ahead of him.

“So are-“ Lance’s voice cracked and he tightened his jaw. “Why are you here? I’m over you, Allura.” He was trying to be, but this only made it so much more painful.

Allura settled down next to him, and Lance had to give credit to his delusions. She looked pretty fucking real, even up close. There was a silence and then she was speaking. “I’m proud of you.”

That was _not_ what Lance was expecting, not by a long shot. He had always been afraid of ghosts, or whatever this was, but this was just making him sad. Almost in a good way, he couldn’t really place it.

“For what?” Lance croaked, tipping his head so that the sun wasn’t in his eyes. 

“For staying true to yourself. You moved back home despite everyone second guessing your choice. You’ve worked through so much.” Allura told him. “You’re so strong.”

Lance’s face finally crumbled and he felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks. He had been holding it in for what felt like so long. “Are you real? Please...“

Allura smiled at him and turned back to the view in front of her. “I like seeing you happy.”

That caused an embarrassing sob of a laugh to escape Lance’s lips. “I’m crying, and if you haven’t noticed you really fuck up the mood when you visit.”

“I suppose I do.” She didn’t sound sad, Lance didn’t know if she knew how to felt sad. This was his imagination after all, right?

Lance adjusted his position so that he was laying down and covering his eyes with the inside of his arm. His marks were covered too, and even a little bit of his freckles. “You know it’s my birthday, then?”

“Of course.” She smiled. Lance couldn’t see it, but he could feel it. She was always so bright when she was happy. It was like looking up at the stars in the middle of the night, overwhelming beauty. 

There was a long silence that followed before Allura was finally speaking up again. “Your next partner will be very lucky to have you.”

Lance snorted despite himself, but didn’t uncover his eyes. “God, Allura. Is that what you came for? I’m not interested in anyone right now.”

“I know, but you will be one day.”

He really didn’t know how to feel about that. Silence swallowed them both whole again. Except it was sort of relieving, and it made Lance’s heart feel fuller. It wasn’t until what felt like an hour later, that Lance finally spoke up. “You’ve been here longer than usual. Is this it?”

“I think so.” 

Lance didn’t understand why he couldn’t pry any long answers out of her, but he didn’t dwell on it. He didn’t feel like speaking, and he was sure she didn’t either. 

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”

“This year in particular?” Lance questioned, finally opening his eyes to squint at her.

Allura just smiled. It was eerie, so Lance didn’t push it. 

“Can I hug you?” Lance finally asked, to which Allura didn’t stop her easy smile. She was hardly talking anymore. 

Still, Lance reached out anyways. His hand grasped empty air and Lance found himself gasping. He didn’t know what to expect, and part of him knew it should have been that. She was gone. 

-

He ended up spending a few more hours at the field, not doing anything else more than thinking. When Lance finally dragged his ass out of the grass, it was still as bright as ever outside. 

Lance dusted off the back of his jeans, knowing that there was probably _something_ clinging to him. Either dust or dead grass and either way, he’d rather not have Rachel tell him how dirty he looked. He felt a little dirty, actually. He was sweaty from his earlier work and the sun beating down on him during his ‘thinking session,’ which is what he was going to call it when his family asked him what the hell he had been for the past couple of hours. 

He made his way back to the house, slowly, still a little sore from not stretching during his whole time at the field. It genuinely felt like his mind was blank after staying there for so long. Lance had gone through so many emotions and thoughts after Allura left that he was left feeling like a clean slate. 

He even smiled when he saw Luis’ car in the driveway. Lance had told his mom that there would be no celebration, but he had expected one. Now, he realized that he would have been disappointed without one in the first place. So he was lucky that his mom wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

The newly twenty-two year old made his way up the steps of the porch before spotting a hover bike poorly hidden behind the garage. Holy shit, he cursed to himself, two of them. That meant....

Lance swung open the front door to find...no one. He spluttered at the /not/ sight before closing the front door behind him. “Guys I know you’re in here.”

He stepped into the kitchen to find no one, not even any empanadas (which was practically a sin) and then into the dining room. No one was there either. It was strange, because his family was not the surprise party type. Even if they hid the celebration from Lance, which his mom had tried, no one could ever stay quiet enough to actually /hide./ Which is why everything clicked when Lance got near the back door. It was open, and he was immediately greeted with his dog, Rocket.

“There you are.” Lance grinned, squatting down to pet him. He looked up to see the rest of his family, and then his /other/ family. 

There was nothing for him to say, because even though he knew, he was still surprised. Lance’s eyes flickered from his parents and his siblings to the old team. Including Coran. 

“Guys-“ Lance murmured, eyes flickering back and forth. It was another six months until their next meet up, but somehow his mom had managed to get ahold of /all/ of them at the same time.

Pidge, much taller now, stepped forward. “I think he’s broken.” She teased, nudging him a little bit.

“Guysss-“ Lance whined, opening his arms for a hug. He was met with the gremlin first, and then the rest of the team followed. When Keith joined, Lance squeezed him almost tighter. 

“I thought you were in space.” Lance gasped, gently hitting his upper arm in shock.

“I’ve been stationed on Earth for the past two weeks.” Keith said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Did I not tell you?”

Lance’s eyes nearly bulged right out of their sockets. “No!!” He squawked, hitting his arm again, less gentle this time. 

The group hugged and finally, when Lance pulled away, he grinned. “I’m coming back to /that/,” He pointed to Keith, “In like an hour. I have so much shit to tell you guys. It’s been crazy.”

Lance turned back to everyone this time and smiled. There were tears filling his eyes, but he blinked them back to the best of his ability. 

“Happy birthday, Lance.” 


End file.
